I Am Changing

I have always loved this song. My mother took me to see Dream Girls when I was in the 8th grade. I remember being really excited because of the singing. I have always loved a good songstress. When this song came on, it sent chills up my spine. I literally had chills. I am not sure why, but I remember getting teary eyed. When I heard it again at the Dream Girls movie, I DID cry. It had a different meaning to me then. Now, this song speaks to me in different ways.

I am changing....
The change on the outside is obvious; however, the change on the inside is what I am most excited about and proud of. See, when you start this journey and you let the process work, you HAVE to look inward. You have to get to the root of the issues. WHY do I do  what I do? You have to figure that out BEFORE you get anywhere in this process. The fitness milestones I have made, the nutritional obstacles I have conquered are not as important to me as the change on the INSIDE.

When you start to look inward, you discover YOURSELF. You realize that you have to spend more time with God, in order to make it through and not give up on yourself.  You realllllyyy get familiar with God when you are 5 miles from where you started and you got to get back. You call his name a LOT. And then it happens. You start to CHANGE. You do things differently, you TRUST more fully, you realize that HE is going to do just what HE said. You feel better, you look better, you listen better, you want to BE better.

I notice the change in my interactions with people. I think I am calmer. I am able to ignore things now that I never would have before. Now, that might be maturity too, but Hey.. I'll take it. I think I have found my PEACE. I am changing....
I'll be better than I am- I'm no where near the person I know God has planned for me to be. I know this. I know there is still a lot to do, a lot to learn, a lot to uncover. I think I am ready. I face the world head on. I am changing-

You have to be ready for this change. THIS change will knock you off your feet; literally. It will make you question every thing you ever did. It will bring you to tears. It will definitely bring you to your knees. It will make you chastise yourself for those poor decisions, hate yourself for the silly things you have done or failed to do. But, it will also make you GRATEFUL. GRATEFUL that HE still gives second chances. GRATEFUL that YOU are on the receiving end of a second chance ( or 3rd chance, etc). When this change starts to happen, everything you THOUGHT you knew about yourself will be in question.

When I went in a store and went directly to the fitness clothes, I knew I had changed. When I ordered 3 pair of running shoes, instead of 3 pair of Vince Camuto pumps; Heck, I knew there was a problem...lol. Change your thinking and you will change your life. Now, that is not an original statement. I just don't remember who said it first...lol

Enjoy the ride. Expect the change. ACCEPT THE CHANGE...

I am CHANGING....

I'll be BETTER than I AM


( and I can't WAIT)